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Oh, Devil, I know you're afraid

Sometimes it's hard to learn from all your mistakes

The problem was that you were born out of wedlock. Acantha Thickett loved Ciro Fonseca, two names you learned early on were tainted (a word you never knew why it was bad you just knew it wasn’t good.) Mom loved you though, she wrapped you in warm blankets and she smelled nice and held you close, but you hated that she cried so much. You lived in a small apartment and dad was often gone, but mom always told you that he came when he could. She told you stories about dad’s past, about how he was royalty from a far away land and though he didn’t have a throne anymore you were still a prince in title. But all the money your father had was going down the drain, because the longer he spent with you and your mother, the more he was disconnected from his family.[break][break]

The more they hated you. [break][break]

The more he was disowned by them.[break][break]

He seemed to stand fast though, he seemed to love his family more than his title and his money and it made your mother happier than you’ve ever seen her. You felt validated even at a young age, something felt warm and good about it. Your parents seemed to make their way, through hard work. Dad took up work at a bank and mom was a waitress and you got by, spending time with mom at the diner and eating pancakes, face sticky with syrup and lipstick from mom's kisses as she passed by. As far as you were concerned life couldn't get any more perfect than it was. [break][break]

Well until the great tragedy happened that shattered those illusions.

Oh, Devil, I'm glad that you came

Guess I should learn how to live because you won't go away

Your house burned down. It went up in flames, licking up the walls and scaring you with the heat and the bright color. Your face burned and the bed became hot, you crawled to the floor and toward the door and there was a lot of creaking as the house crumbled around you. All you could think of was your mom and dad, wanting them at that moment and wanting fresh air and water. Smoke filled your lungs and there was screaming and pounding at your door, and then darkness, which felt so refreshing in comparison to the fiery hell. [break][break]

You awoke with an oxygen mask strapped to your face and what looked like a monster above you. You screamed and struggled but the monster held fast, removed it's face and....oh. Firefighters. Those were things. You calmed, felt safe and reassured as the woman who held you cooed in your ear in a soothing voice, reassuring you that you were safe. But your house.....your house was rendered to ashes and charcoal. You clawed at the mask, asked weakly where your mom and dad were. The firefighter held you tight in her arms with a sad expression. [break][break]

There had been nothing worth saving in the end. [break][break]

They'd perished in the fire, choked on the smoke while trying to get into your room from the outside. Amazing what a bit of gasoline could do right? You were in shock though, the tremors racing through your body and stealing your breath away. You wheezed and shrieked until your throat was sore, and it hurt. It hurt so much, your chest was tight and it felt like your head was going to explode but that kind firefighter was holding you and whispering kind things in your ear. They took you away then, with nothing but the singed clothes on your back, away where they could find the next of kin to take you in. [break][break]

Only they refused.[break][break]

Acantha's parents were too elderly to take care of a child, in a home being taken care of themselves, and the Fonseca family, though still rich and capable.....simply said no. They didn't want an illegitimate child tainting their reputation (even though no one seemed to genuinely care besides them) so you were left in the care of the city. But what were they going to do with you? You spent some time in a makeshift foster system then, bounced between homes before you finally got some good news.

Oh, Devil, I'm back for a while

'Til I pick up the phone, look for your number and dial

You recognized her, especially since she greeted you with a smudge of soot on her face fresh from a job. You felt something well in your chest, as well as your eyes. She smiled softly, called you mija and wrapped you in her arms. It was strange at first, knowing you'd been adopted by the same firefighter who'd saved your life all those weeks ago. But she told you she'd fought tooth and nail for you. She lived with her wife and they were planning on moving to Sundial to give you the life you really deserved. They wanted to help you develop your abilities in a truly safe environment. [break][break]

Gabriella was Vagar, from a clan that was thinly spread with a diverse culture and vivid language, and while you were half Vagar yourself you never picked up on the language. You told her this one day and she laughed, gently teasing you.[break][break]

"You don't look much Vagar mija."[break][break]

"I look just like my mom, that's why."[break][break]

You pouted, but then Nadia swept in with her warm arms and playful smile and smooched away the cloud of doubt. She was beautiful with her dark skin and fashionable hijabs that she always wore. Honestly despite the despair you often felt the nightmares that plagued you nearly every night, you could easily admit that you loved the turn your life had taken. You had two lovely mothers who promised to take care of you, who provided therapy to help with the problems they couldn't solve and who helped develop your abilities.[break][break]

There was one problem though.[break][break]

The more you grew up, the more you grew uncomfortable in your body. There was this deep itch under your skin that made you want to claw your skin off. You cried a lot, spent a lot of time in your room, and refused to eat. Obviously your parents noticed and they approached you, and you couldn't explain to them what was wrong. With no exact way to approach the issue, because the issue wasn't clear, they simply increased the number of therapy sessions you attended and hoped it would resolve the issue. [break][break]

While talking it out helped a little, a loophole was discovered that led to an epiphany. Nadia took you clothes shopping and you discovered that shopping for longer sleeves and a more masculine style soothed your frayed nerves, boys clothes seemed to ease that panic that ate away at you. Nadia stared at you with a look of wonder that made you a little nervous, but the smile that she gave you was brighter than the sun, and you couldn't help but smile back.

Oh, Devil, I'm in my own hell

And deep inside I'm sure I got here all by myself

You were transgendered.[break][break]

The word rolled off your tongue, elicited a strange spark down your spine. Something curled in your stomach and settled there, something purred in your chest and expanded comfortably. Gabriella and Nadia sat with you and held each of your hands and explained that there wasn't much information on the subject, but they were sure that was it. It seemed the right solution, and there were tears on your end. You cried for three straight hours, out of relief and amazement. [break][break]

After that, life seemed to sail by in a relative haze. You started making changes, wearing binders and changing your name. You cut your hair, changed your clothes, and finally wore a more confident smile. Perseus had a nice ring to it, better than your old name ever did. Nothing good in your life can last forever though, you knew that. Felt it deep inside, when you realized that something was getting too good, too easy. Where was the fun in having a simple life?[break][break]

Not everywhere was safe. That you knew, Gabriella had explained that to you early in life. Especially not for little girls, but now even more so for you. People knew who you were, and some people wouldn't like the change you'd gone through. They insisted on escorting you around town, which you felt was unnecessary and made you claustrophobic but you couldn't complain, not when they seemed so worried. [break][break]

It all came to a head and you suffered for it dearly. Not as much as they did though. Nadia brought you into town and neither of you noticed who was in the alleyway. It happened so quick, first you were pulled in, then you felt the cold chill of steel. There was a shout, and a scuffle, and a ringing in your ears as the world blurred around you. Then you smelled ozone and pure energy and a loud crack sounded, and then silence. People continued to pass by unburdened but as you glanced down there was a burned corpse where there should have been a murderer. Nadia was proficient at lightening magicks and it was clear now just how powerful she was. [break][break]

"Nadia-!"[break][break]

Your warning came too late.[break][break]

The flash of glittering steel in the light, and you caught the falling body that fell on top of you. You staggered against the weight in your arms and collapsed against the stone wall, and slowly slid to the ground. Nadia bled out in your arms as you disassociated, hovered above your own body unable to move and blaming yourself for her death. There was really nothing you could have done in time but you didn't know that, not now. You were found by authorities hours after dark when Gabriella reported you both missing, and brought in for questioning. The investigation led to a dead end, with no recollection of the fight that happened or the face of the attacker there was no way to identify the individual who had murdered Nadia. Gabriella was left a single parent with a large hole in her heart where Nadia should have been, and you were left with the heavy burden of guilt. [break][break]

But where guilt was forced, a sense of duty was born and bred.[break][break]

You wanted to be a hero. You wanted to save the weak, those who couldn't defend themselves. You felt a sense of elation watching Gabriella continue her work with a renewed sense of determination that only she could make work. You and Gabriella depended on each other more than ever before, and while Nadia had left a Nadia shaped hole where she should have been standing, she left you the tools you needed in her absence to become the man you are today. You expressed a desire to develop your skills further, to join a coven. Specifically the Helios Knights. You had stars in your eyes for saving others and being the hero of your own stories. [break][break]

You wanted to do good, pure and simple, and Gabriella promised to help you. The Helios Knights were the first stepping stones on the path to greatness, and even with having to become the lowest of the low in order to begin your journey, everyone had to start somewhere right?[break][break]

You'd made your parents, Nadia, and Gabriella proud.