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cherry lips crystal skies

isn't it funny how people can't say nasty things to a pretty face until they're under the cover of someone's ear or the depths of the night?[break][break]

"chanel crestwalker--" said with disdain.[break][break]

a smear on her family's name, a pitiful excuse to take such a heavy fall. a hedonist, a mad social pariah that's lucky to be friends with the likes of a Fei and that Song heiress. a waste of influence, and pity that she has to be respected at all- have you heard about what she keeps in her lab? she's one of those new generation of witches that think they know everything. to think alan crestwalker had fallen this far and--[break][break]

i could show you incredible things

"oh, young lady crestwalker--" said with admiration.
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an innovator, one that would surely rise to somewhere beyond her family's name! an adventurer, a risk-taking entrepreneur of kindness and good intentions. what lovely company she keeps. would you like me to get you anything? isn't it about to be your birthday soon? how are your parents getting along? and surely your hair couldn't have gotten even better? my, it's even more wonderful than maria's, when she was young...
[break][break]

stolen kisses, pretty lies

a garland of roses. surely, you, too, could create something beautiful like this...[break][break]
the whirring of your mind and your mind's creation fills the room, and you begin to cry again except you don't know what it is. it's got to be the noise. the noise is consuming you alive, your parents say. you haven't figured out how to keep the noise down, they think.[break][break]
but you like the noise.[break][break]
the whirr of gears and the clashing of bolts, the gentle roll of metal-made wheels on the marble floor. the maddening cacophony that keeps your cousins up at night. you love the noise. because it shuts out everything else.[break][break]
it shuts out their voices for one- the jeers you pretend not to hear. and then it shuts out your own little insecurities and becomes your mantra. you will change all their minds. you will become, become a---[break][break]

you're the king baby i'm your queen

--a what, again?
[break][break]
adolescence grabs hold like a noose and a scythe, and you can't escape the lack of enthusiasm you have for anything but yourself and your image. which, you learn, is a valuable asset. it's easy to make laughing stocks of other people, and the rhythm of life fits in with the emlody of the jeers.
[break][break]
the hum of machines is replaced by the buzz of intoxication as you lean in and forget. you the queen of your own world and ideas, and no one can hope to kiss the ends of your heels.
[break][break]
at a point, you realize they must be right. your parents are pathetic. you see them walking to and fro- the middle class, the working citizens. you see them running with their jobs and lives, and you wonder if you'd been raised like that- a couple that wouldn't sway to your every demand.
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some kind of structure that clearly decided to skip a turn or three with you...
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who are you kidding?
[break][break]
there was no going back

rose garden filled with thorns

"join the helios knights"
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they say it like a suggestion, a humble and simple and quiet one. the idea lingers and brings back distant dreams. medeia trevil. the twin lions of glory. the split sun, the radiant red robes. they bring you flashes of inspiration, flashes of the laboratory that must be gaining dust.
[break][break]
you start to feel a queer queasiness at the pits of your stomach. the question sounds and resounds again and again, reflecting on each surface of your belling and making your mind go gong gong gong. but you're not intoxicated, you're sick. who am i? the question crashes and crumbles and drowns you.
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you shrug half-heartedly.
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if everyone else is doing it...

keep you second guessing like- oh my god, who is she?

"chanel crestwalker"- spoken with confidence.
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a pleasure to make your acquaintance. i really do hope we can be friends, it should do you some good at least. sorry? did i stutter? no? anyway- i did want to catch that play the other day- The Fallen One, you know, it's supposed to be interesting. and yes, the Quidditch match too. though honestly o'riley's shoes were just hideous. you would think with all that money--
[break][break]
ah who am i kidding? [break][break]

some people just never evolve from the apes they're born as.
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me included.